Introducing Sex Toys To Your Partner

Couples who introduce vibrators, dildos and other sex toys into their bedrooms have found an easy way to re-introduce the kind of sexy explorations they enjoyed in the beginning of their relationship.

Using a vibrator on your partner can increase arousal and maximize pleasure before and during sex. Persuading a partner to try a vibrator is similar to coaxing them into trying anything new, any type of change. Change can be unsettling.

Sexual changes can be even more so because they are so intimate and loaded with emotion. Some people fear that sex toys might “replace” them. You can reassure your lover that he or she is irreplaceable, that toys are just enhancements that introduce some variety and spice to sex. Do sexy movies replace you for your partner? Of course not. They probably turn your lover on so that he or she enjoys sex with you even more.Tell your partner that you feel the same way about sex toys.

Some people fear that sex toys are “weird.” They’re not. In fact, a recent survey by researchers at the University of California, at San Francisco, shows that 10 percent of American couples use vibrators and other sex toys at least occasionally, and that the number of sex-toy users is rising.

Some people believe that sex should be limited to what’s “natural,” just your two bodies with nothing extraneous. That’s a legitimate opinion, but chances are that your sex-toy-shy lover doesn’t really hold that view. Does he or she get turned on by lingerie? Erotic movies?  Making love by candle light? Those enhancements are also “unnatural,” but they add spice to sex. Pointing this out might help to provide some perspective on your desire to introduce sex toys into your relationship.

Birthdays are a good time to make special requests. And Valentine’s Day is a good time to make special sexual requests. You might ask for a special birthday or Valentine’s sex date that includes a sex toy, perhaps as part of a romantic weekend away. If your lover consents to such a special request, be sure to tell him or her how much you appreciate it, and how erotic you find adding a vibrator or other sex toys to your lovemaking. Everyone likes complements from a turned-on lover. Your thanks and enthusiasm might prove contagious.

If your partner remains adamantly opposed to sex toys and you don’t already use a lubricant, you might try introducing that first. In our experience, it’s a rare lover who doesn’t find them sexually enhancing. Lubricants can help persuade people that sex toys can be fun.

As a last resort, you might buy the toy you want, use it solo, leave it in plain sight, and then tell your partner there’s only one thing missing… his or her participation

Andie’s Advice

  • Start slow: Save the double dong or strap-on dildo sex toy for future encounters. Try a nice, simple vibrator sex toy. Once your sweetie is used to the vibe, you can trade up.
  • Be gentle: Your partner may like it on the rough side, but hold back a little the first few times you play with sex toys. There’s plenty of time to accelerate!
  • Talk to your partner: He or she may have agreed to use the sex toy, but that doesn’t mean your lover is 100% comfortable with the idea. Talk your way through the experience. Ask your partner if what you are doing together feels good. If it doesn’t, try something else.
  • Use lubrication: Sex toys need lots of lube to slip and slide the way the sex toy should. The last thing your girlfriend needs to worry about is whether she’s wet enough to enjoy herself. Similarly, you don’t want to risk injury to male or female partners by inserting something into a dry orifice. Keep a bottle of lube handy and use it.
  • Be flexible: The se  toy you’ve selected might turn out to be totally wrong for your sexual personalities. That’s okay. Put that sex toy aside and try something different.
  • Be patient: Your partner may agree to play with the sex toy, and then change his or her mind midway through the experience. That’s his or her prerogative. Be patient and try again another time. It might take awhile, but it will be worth the wait.

Men’s Cock Ring Guide

You know that feeling when your lover is giving you head and she grabs firmly around the base of your cock behind your balls and suddenly everything is amplified? That’s what a cock ring feels like.

You know that feeling of pressure you get when the intensity of your erection is way beyond normal and all your senses are focused on how stiff you are and the weight in your balls as you thrust into your lover? That’s what a cock ring feels like.

Much like the name suggests, a cock ring is a ring of leather, denim, rubber, or metal that encircles the base of the penis and/or the scrotum. Its purpose, besides looking and feeling hot, is to keep the dick hard by preventing blood from flowing out of the engorged member. The penis gets its blood supply from arteries on the inside, and the erection ring restricts the returning blood from flowing through veins closer to the surface. Since veins are closer to the surface of the skin than arteries, the ring allows blood to flow to the penis while restricting its ability to flow outwards. As the internal pressure of the penis rises and the pleasurable feeling of firmness increases, the erection is prolonged and ejaculation is delayed. The penis also becomes less sensitive, enabling a man to better control when he experiences orgasm. The feeling of added weight is a bonus for the woman, as well – you can feel a heavier cock inside you, the erection seems harder, the penetration is more intense, and you get the feeling that the penetration is either deeper or not quite as deep – depending upon how your lover is wearing his rings.

Most cock rings are made of silicone or latex rubber, though some are made of metal, leather and other materials. They usually feature a variety of textures on the outer rim, and should be chosen carefully according to size and design. A loose ring will do nothing, while a too-tight ring cuts off all retreating blood flow; while a constantly hard penis might sound like fun, it can become painful and even dangerous after two or more hours. Some models feature adjustable sizes and snaps, allowing emergency removal.

Materials Guide


The most common variety is the rubber cock ring, which is shaped like an O-ring washer – like the ones used in your garden hose or kitchen faucet – but larger. One of the most popular models out there is the Ofinity Plus by Screaming O. The Ofinity Plus is a vibrating double erection ring featuring a unique isolating design that helps constrict blood flow to prevent premature ejaculation and promote stronger, harder erections.  The top ring is worn around the penis while the bottom ring stretches around the testicles, and the middle motor positions perfectly to buzz against the sensitive zone in between. The results are more intense orgasms and longer-lasting sex! There is The Clincher Cock ring, 91, that is an adjustable cock ring with a bead that slides up and down the rubber tubing that stretches to fit!


It is VERY IMPORTANT that you not use a ring that is too small. To find the diameter of a snug-fitting ring, measure the distance around the cock and balls (at the base, behind the scrotum), and then divide by 3.1. Don’t go smaller than that. Metal rings are placed in position by pulling the scrotal skin through the ring and then inserting one testicle through the ring and then the second, and finally bend the flaccid penis down and pull it through. Your penis must be flaccid when putting on a metal ring. To take it off, simply reverse the steps, pushing the cock back through the ring first, followed by the balls and finally the scrotal skin. A favorite is Alchemy’s Metallics Seamless Wide Metal Medium Band that features a 1-3/4 inch wide, seamless, heavy duty, medium metal band.


Want something a little softer than metal? Just slide a stretchy silicone sleeve over the erect penis to add tons of tickling sensations during intercourse in any position imaginable. And because it’s made of such soft, flexible silicone, it fits him with complete comfort and will stay securely in place no matter how hot the action gets. What a real hot one? Check out Wonderland C-ring The Pleasurepillar. The Pleasurepillar C-Ring is made of the highest-grade silicone on the market and features a removable bullet with push-button control and 10 intense functions for clitoral stimulation during sex!

Vibrating Rings:

These styles of rings are designed to stimulate both partners with vibrations. Most vibrating cock rings are made of a jelly type material. The vibrations come form a bullet that is inserted into the cock ring. Some styles have the vibrating bullet built in and cannot be removed. With the removable bullet style, you can put the bullet on the top to stimulate the woman’s clitoris or you can place the vibrating bullet at the bottom to stimulate the testicles. One that is getting rave reviews is the Xtreme Ring Of Xtasy Red Tongue. This comfortable vibrating cock ring is made out of a soft and super stretchable silicon that will feel so good as the powerful vibrator hums you away to ecstasy. Just slip this silicone stretchy vibrating cock ring over your lover’s penis and testicles and let it take your pleasures to all new heights. The small nubs on the front tickle the clitoris and give the extra clitoral stimulation women all love. It has a small watch battery inside it so it’s wireless, you don’t have any messy cords to get tangled in.


Leather snap-on erection rings are placed around the base of the penis below the testicles and are adjustable in size, depending on the snap that is fastened. To use a cock ring of this nature is a lot safer than the seamless metal cock rings.

When using snap-on cock rings, the number of snaps will dictate the amount of adjustments. One to definitely check out is Leather Cinch Adjustable Cock Ring. The Leather Cinch is a fully adjustable one size fits all leather enhancer with patented quick release. Use the cinch to tighten and use the button snap for a quick release.

There are a number of new materials and specialty cock rings entering the sex toy market every day. Be sure to bookmark our cock rings category page to find new and exciting cock rings being added every month.

Shop Cock Rings Now!

Be Sex Safe – Be Sex Clean

Keeping Your Sex Toys Clean 101

Cleaning your Sex Toys

Sex safe begins with being sex clean!

You should consider care and maintenance a factor in choosing a sex toy. They must be cleaned carefully after (and preferably ALSO before) each use.

Remove the batteries (if applicable) before you clean and when you store your toy, to prevent corrosion. Also, batteries can leak and ruin the internal workings). A little corrosion can be removed with a small brush (like a toothbrush or a cotton swab) and a little baking soda, then apply a VERY small amount of silicone dielectric grease, or Vaseline applied to the slightly corroded part to prevent further damage.

Vibrator exteriors can be cleaned easily by wiping them with a damp, soapy washcloth or baby wipes. Take care in doing this with the non-waterproof models. Use a SLIGHTLY damp washcloth, or wrap a towel around the base of the vibrator when cleaning. This will help prevent water from entering the internal compartment. If water does enter the internal compartment, wipe out what you can with a dry cloth and keep the base in the off position of the vibrator until it has a chance to air dry.

Some materials have specific cleaning requirements … read and follow any instructions that come with them, or follow the general advice above.

Storing your Sex Toys

Sex safe is taking care of your sex toys!

When considering a place to store toys, think carefully. Many toys are used within the body, which is not a place to be putting dirt and bacteria! Jelly toys are particularly bad for attracting dust and bits, so be sure that the location is clean. Toys should be wrapped separately in clean cloths to prevent any transfer of bacteria that may have slipped through cleaning. Washing the toy again before use is also a good habit to get into.

When To Replace Your Toys

Safe sex is knowing when to say goodbye you your sex toys!

No sex toy lasts forever, and some, depending on frequency of use, may last a very short while, so how do you know when it’s time to say good-bye?
Mechanical features slow or stop working, even after battery replacement
Cracks are visible in plastic, acrylic, or glass toys, or on the plastic pieces of other toys
Mold or mildew has formed on the material, or the material is deteriorating
Battery corrosion is seen inside the battery pack
Much like shoes, the more you use a sex toy, the quicker it will wear out, so it’s possible to go through a toy a month-or to keep one for as long as a year. Just be sure to replace your sensual friend and not try to fix it yourself!

Sex Toy Hygiene

Simply put, to be sex safe you must be sex clean!

The basic rule of thumb is that you do not want to do anything with a sex toy that you would not do with part of your body. Using a sex toy with a separate condom for each partner will help avoid spreading unwanted bacteria or viruses – just as wearing a condom will during sex. Be careful to follow the guidelines for proper condom use described on the back of the condom wrapper. You want to avoid contacting the other partner’s bodily fluids, so it might be a good idea to wash your hands each time before you open a new condom.

If neither partner is concerned about transferring or catching any diseases, then it is probably safe to use an adult toy without a condom. Obviously, the same rules apply to using adult toys as it does to having intercourse – avoid contact with semen if you are concerned about pregnancy, and don’t put your sex toy anywhere you wouldn’t put say, your tongue or your penis without protection.

Although rare, some people have an allergic reaction to latex. If you or your partner has an allergic reaction to your toy, we recommend discontinuing use of that toy. If you cover it with a condom that is not made out of latex, it might prevent such a reaction.

Also, avoid using your sex toys (or anything else for that matter) anally, and then inserting it directly from the anus into the vagina. It’s very important to avoid exposing your, or someone else’s vagina to the E. coli bacteria that resides in the anus. While not harmful to the anus, E. coli can cause urinary tract infections if it is allowed to grow in the vagina. If you want to use your sex toys in other areas after anal play, either use a condom or wash it thoroughly. In this case, it might be best to have a variety of toys, so that you don’t have to continually interrupt play to carry out cleaning.